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We recently received an email about a situation during a wedding with a blended family, so we would like to address this little-talked-about aspect of a wedding day.

"My daughter's father remarried. When the photographer called for the bride's family, my ex-husband and his wife ran up there and his wife stood next to my daughter and I had to go stand by the groom. That was the only picture that was taken with father and mother so I did not get a photograph next to my daughter. How do you normally handle a situation like that?"

As wedding photographers, we are sensitive to these situations. There are photographers out there, we're sure, who are oblivious to these things.

The way we do it is we ask beforehand if it is a blended family situation, so we can be prepared if any animosity or conflict should arise.

Here is our flow for the traditional, immediate-family photographs:

1. We ask for the mother of the bride and the father of the bride. To clarify, we have even said, "Biological," once or twice. The best thing to do is call the mother and father by name if we know it beforehand. (We never say, "The parents," because that means diffent things to people. For instance, the biological father may have just come back into the bride's life and they are now re-establishing a fragile relationship, yet the bride was lovingly raised by her step-father.) Those family members would be the only two people, besides the bride and groom, we want at that moment. The photo session then commences.

2. Mother with bride.

3. Father with bride.

4. Both with bride.

5. Mother with groom.

6. Father with groom.

7. Both with groom.

8. Mother with bride and groom.

9. Father with bride and groom.

10. Both with bride and groom.

We then follow suit with the groom's side using the same flow.

The bottom line is preparation from the bride. Only she knows how certain people will interract with others and she can direct the traditonal portrait scenarios. There have been times where we would have to photograph mother and father at different intervals just to keep the peace.

We are sure whomever the photographers are, they will be more than accommodating provided they know the situation with ample time to prepare.

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