From A Spectator's View (What I Over Hear & See as a Photographer) - ISLAND GIRL PHOTOGRAPHY blog at BridesClub.com

To all the beautiful Brides-To-Be,

Although I have been shooting weddings for only a short time, I have noticed a few recurring trends. I thought they may help you who are in the planning stages to have a little bit of a "heads up" from an outsider’s point of view.

I'll be doing a few blogs over the next few days/weeks to try and convey what I have seen/heard at the weddings that I have had the privilege to partake of.

1. Wedding Coordination

A. Yourself: If you are shouldering all the burden, are you going to be relaxed and calm before your ceremony or wondering about the flower petals being evenly spaced along the runner? I know that you want the ceremony and reception to go exactly as you want and that you may not want or have the budget for a coordinator, but beware of placing too much of the details on yourself. Remember, the few hours before the ceremony will commence, you are going to be a ball of nerves already worrying about your make-up, hair, dress, and the people in the wedding party. Do you really want to add the stress of whether or not the place cards are set on the side of the plate or on top of them like you want? If you can't squeeze a coordinator into the budget, ask a few (not just one) family members or friends to help out. Assign one or two tasks to each person. If it is a big task, think about asking 2 or 3 people to work together on it, breaking up individual elements for each to take care of. Make sure they are reliable and not forgetful people. Getting angry at your cousin for forgetting to bring the bubbles, when you knew that he/she would forget their head if it wasn’t attached to them, is only going to cause tension within the family and headaches for you.

1. Counter-point: One thing to make sure of when assigning tasks to family or friends is: Do they really want to help you? Ask them if they really want to help, or just feel that they have to because they don’t want to say “No.” If they really don’t want to, don’t force them, as it will only cause problems. On the same note, don’t be hurt about it. Some people just don’t feel confident enough to have a part of something this important placed upon their shoulders. There are plenty of people more than willing to help out! Use your resources.
2. Mother/Mother-in-Law: If you are close to either your Mother or Mother-in-Law, and you feel that if you put your entire wedding in their hands, they would give you everything you would want, by all means go right ahead! For those brides with differing tastes, not that you love them less, but you know they would want your wedding one way and you another, make sure you converse frequently the days leading up to the wedding on what you want exactly. Don’t be harsh; just let them know that this is what you want and that you want to be watching over their shoulders at every detail. Remember, and remind them sometimes (gently), this is your day and you want them to be a part of it because you love them. You don’t want to remember your wedding day as “the day Mom and I didn’t speak because she refused to let my fiancé see me before the wedding for our photo session.”

B. Coordinator: Whether it’s a friend or someone you hired, you have to understand that they are going to be in charge of EVERYTHING that is going to happen on the day of your wedding. The Coordinator is there for a reason: You hired them to take the stress off! If you have hired someone, meet with them many times, as many as you feel it takes, to get them to see your vision. Some of you are saying, “I don’t really have a vision.” I’m sure some of you don’t have a completely detailed image of what you want, but you have an idea of what you don’t want. You may only know the flowers that you definitely want. No matter what, no bride has “no clue” of what they want. Back to the Coordinator: See what they have done before and think about what they can do for you. Do you see a trend or are they eclectic? If you see a recurring theme or item, such as a flower, color, flower vase, column, etc., is that something that will work for you? Like everything else in the planning of your big day, nothing beats Research!

1. Friend Coordinator: If your friend offers to coordinate your wedding and you take them up on it, I hope you flash one thought in your mind: Can we be friends if she/he messes this day up? Think back in your friendship, have you gone through rougher times? Have you survived? Did it take you a long time to forgive her/him? This is one of the biggest days of your life. If you leave it all on their shoulders and they disappoint you, even the slightest bit, are you going to be okay? Remember, the day of your wedding if going to be “24 PMS”; you’ll be okay until someone upsets you, and then everything may go up in the air. On the other hand, if this is someone who knows you, inside and out, or someone who is completely like you, there may be an upside. Again, meet with them as many times as it takes for them to see your vision. But be careful and don’t tread on any toes. This is your friend, they aren’t getting paid to put up with you, but they might just do it for free.

The one thing I would like to stress is, Be Patient. All those involved with your special day want you to be happy; they want you to have all that you dreamed.

And you take care of yourself. Maybe this is the day you have been dreaming about for a long time and maybe it’s not, but either way, stress is not healthy so why not just eliminate the need!

Mahalo!

Tricia Ilima Hamasaki
Island Girl Photography