At minimum I would hire a professional "day-of" wedding coordinator that can eliminate the stress of how things are going to set-up, ensuring vendors are on-site and making sure that everything flows smoothly. A professional is also able to trouble shoot if any issues do arise.
For your situation, nothing but a top-notch wedding coordinator will do.
Also, using professionals and venues who communicate well with you and each other is paramount.
Having said that, be prepared to spend some money. Trying to penny pinch or scrimp while getting everything you want are mutually exclusive of each other.
Once you have secured your professionals, trust them and let them do their jobs.
Best wishes for you on your big day, 5 states away!